The inner Terrorist.

Today I read the headline of an article that said that “terrorism is not a psychological disease.” Ok, but it’s not a very healthy psyche that rests in someone able to commit these crimes on the other hand now is it? So what is the deal with wanting to use the word terrorism for certain forms of crimes? There has to be something driving this want instead of saying that it’s a mentally unstable person that is able to commit these crimes.

The funny thing, even though it’s anything but, is that when we hear about a crime being committed and we hear that it’s a terrorist attack there is something comforting in that even though that might sound contradicting, controversial and even wrong or absurd to your ears.

When we hear that it’s terrorism we can rest in our seats and see that as being the obvious wrong and I’m on the other side, which is then even more highlighted as it being the “right”. But is it right? Is our society a “right” society? Could it be that our drive to label something as it being terrorism is a way for us to be blinded to the possible reality that the way we live our lives might not be true?

And to take it even further could it be that the way we live our lives in society is actually fuelling these forms of behaviours? This would be a very hard one to swallow but it’s far from incomprehensible.

The rates of illness and disease are rampaging beyond any form of control and this is something that should be much more alarming than the now very strong focus on terrorism. Terrorism as we call it is totally inhumane and we know it, but more than four people are killing themselves in Sweden everyday. Isn’t that a form of terrorism we should also acknowledge? What form of inner terrorism is happening in someone that eventually choses to take their own life? What society nurtures this form of behaviour? It cannot certainly be a healthy one.

I think we need to start opening our eyes to what is actually going on around us and not get caught in the merry go round of looking outside of ourselves when there is a strong call for us to look within to what is going on in there. The cancer rates amongst lots of other illnesses are calling for us to listen up, not looking outside for answers. There is a lot going on inside of us and it could actually be that there is a form of terrorism already happening inside our selves that goes undetected and undiagnosed while we focus on what is going on on the outside.

Expressing How We Feel – A Matter of Responsibility

A few weeks ago I had my scheduled laundry time. I live in an apartment and share laundry facilities so we have to pre-book this time. So early that morning it was finally my turn and I had from seven to twelve to make it happen… Everything was going as planned until I noticed that someone had sneaked in to put their laundry in a machine I wasn’t using at the time.

First I was quite cool with it, but then I felt it wasn’t all ok, so I decided to leave a little note – loving enough but firm. I felt confident to bring the truth of what I felt – not rock solid – but strong enough.

Then I saw through the window that it was my neighbour just across and I felt a bit like “Oh no, but I really like that person” – and that made me realise something very important…

Do I hold back expressing what I feel is the truth to people I happen to favour?

And if so, why is that? Is there a fear of losing them if I express how I truly feel? Is there a fear of being rejected? Maybe it’s more comfortable to express when it feels ‘safe’ and I have nothing to lose, so to speak. But that doesn’t really feel like an honest approach when it comes to relationships between people, and it doesn’t feel like an honest approach to life.

Furthermore, it brought to me an understanding that expanded the meaning and importance of expression…

It made me realise that when I feel like expressing something, it’s not for me to judge or assess whether I should express, because it’s not for me to hold onto.

And all of this, what I experienced this morning, brings to me a bigger understanding of life and our true purpose. It also showed me a more whole way of being with others, as I realise that what I feel isn’t for me to hold on to, but for someone else who has asked for it.

Sometimes, someone might be stuck in a pattern and might need to hear something to be shaken out of it, and if I hold back from expressing what I feel, I’m actually keeping them from evolving from something they might have already felt deep down is not true.

It also exposed that I make it about me when I question whether I should express or not.

So in my case, what happened this morning was a great opportunity to explore what it’s like to express when I feel the impulse to, and not hold back.

Enough times I’ve done that – holding back from expressing what I feel – and when I do that it feels like something is left in my body that is not mine. When I do express on the other hand, it’s such a freedom and my body feels much more spacious and alive.

Even if I allowed what I felt to be expressed this morning I realise that it will take some time to get used to it. I can admit there were doubts as to whether I should say it or not but this time I kept with the feeling and stood by it.

My fellow mate in the washing room seemed a bit reluctant in taking in what I shared with her though. I realise that it will take some time for us all to develop a true sense of communicating, since we basically communicate with a measured level of comfort to not have things come up that might be there to address.

What I experienced was a language that is not for the ears to hear but for the heart to feel and it really feels like the language of brotherhood – of humanity coming together as one – since its impulse is to make things work that aren’t truly working.

So when the silent asking is there next time I’ll do my best to stick with it because it’s worth it!

Deeply inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Matts Josefsson, Säter, Sweden

Find the blog also on Expressing How We Feel – A Matter of Responsibility