“I hurt myself today – to see if I still feel. I focused on the pain, the only thing that’s real.”

img_6002.jpg“I hurt myself today – to see if I still feel. I focused on the pain, the only thing that’s real.”

This is from a song written by Trent Reznor, the founder of the group Nine Inch Nails. A famous cover has been made by Johnny Cash later on and I don’t think you’ve missed it, especially the later one by Cash.

Musically I agree and think so myself that the melody gets to you and the song tends to get stuck in your head and I find myself going around singing it… What I also couldn’t get out of my head though, along with the song, was the lyrics. It’s quite a depressing piece and the message I must say I do not agree with.

Continue reading ““I hurt myself today – to see if I still feel. I focused on the pain, the only thing that’s real.””

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Psykisk hälsa – bara bra och ok?

Vad är egentligen psykisk ohälsa? Är det när man upptäcker att man mår psykiskt dåligt, eller har det varit en längre uppbyggnadsprocess som lett till att man till slut upplever psykisk ohälsa? Rimligtvis måste det senare vara fallet då saker inte bara sker över en natt. Det måste även innebära att den tid före ohälsan där jag kände mig bra eller ok kanske inte var så ok…? Kan det vara så att vår barometer för vad vi kallar bra och ok glidit till att faktiskt endast betyda frånvaron av ohälsa? I så fall ligger vi riktigt risigt till, och jag skulle säga att det är precis så det är. Jag tror vi lyssnar mindre och mindre på vad vi innerst inne känner är bäst för oss och vi lever i större utsträckning efter koncept och bilder om hur vi tror vi måste eller bör leva. Koncept och bilder som vår kropp känner sig främmande för. Vi vet alla hur det känns att göra något vi egentligen inte vill.

The inner Terrorist.

Today I read the headline of an article that said that “terrorism is not a psychological disease.” Ok, but it’s not a very healthy psyche that rests in someone able to commit these crimes on the other hand now is it? So what is the deal with wanting to use the word terrorism for certain forms of crimes? There has to be something driving this want instead of saying that it’s a mentally unstable person that is able to commit these crimes.

The funny thing, even though it’s anything but, is that when we hear about a crime being committed and we hear that it’s a terrorist attack there is something comforting in that even though that might sound contradicting, controversial and even wrong or absurd to your ears.

Continue reading “The inner Terrorist.”

Anxiety – The Beauty or The Beast?

Some would say anxiety is a disease but I would say it’s not, it is a condition which means it is reversible. I am a living testimony of that. I was terrified of eating with others, even with close friends. I could get panic attacks but no one noticed because I was the master at showing a proper controlled face to the world, yet my inside was like a hurricane. I developed lots of skills to make sure no one noticed. I went to the toilet, I went to get some water, and some times I just left to let the steam out of the system.

Continue reading “Anxiety – The Beauty or The Beast?”